Random thoughts

I want to believe that I've learned enough not to make the same mistakes again. I've been hurt before. 

But here I am, falling again for some kind of stupid dream of mine, as if something would change this time. 

What if it doesn't work out the way I've been hoping? What if I get hurt again? What if I am the one who hurts someone?

I guess a pretty good artist, who I really love, was right. "I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale". 

She was actually telling us that life is not what people make it seem to be. Because life is even more complicated than we think. Or at least to me. 

I can't help but wonder what could have happened if I got to the point of no return I was so eager to get. What if I had actually done it? 

I know it is all too exaggerated. 

I've been called that my whole life. 

My feelings are just way too much all the time. 

What if turned then off? 

What if I stopped feeling anything at all? 

Would I feel relieved? Would I be able to live my life with no worries? 

Sometimes I wish there was like a kind of magic potion to disable emotions. 

Because I try, and try, and try. But my feeling are always hard to control. 

Maybe everything would be easier if we had our paths already chosen for us. We could know beforehand what or who we are going to be in life. 

Actually, that sounds pretty boring, I know. 

Every now and then I wonder what would have happened if something in my life had gone different. Even the tiniest of details, or mistakes. 

Would anything change? 

Would I change? 

Would I be someone different? Better? Worse? 

Who knows. 

Exactly. 

Who knows.